Road to recovery
by ncis-csiNY
Summary: It's set right after the end of 2x06 and basically is something between fix-it fic and what I would like to happen in Season 3... if season 3 existed. It's Bel x Freddie but it will contain Hector x Marnie and a little Lix x Randall Please read, I am crappy in Summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is set right after 2x06 its Bel x Freddie. Actually it's some sort of fix it fic. My first for The Hour. A show I got hooked and got canceled. I mean seriously BBC? Why torture us so?**

**I EDITED THE CHAPTER AND FIXED SOME MISTAKES I HOPE IT'S EASIER TO READ NOW!**

The night shift guards called me outside, someone was found beaten up right outside our studio. My heart fluttered, Freddie was missing here and hours. He even missed the show and he never misses the show. At least not when the main story is a story he fought so hard to get on air. He is dedicated to his job, almost way too much to care about anything else. He is addicted to the story. So when I heard about the beaten up man right outside our building my heart fluttered in a bad, twisted and scary way. I am scarred, and my fear is only growing as I am running down the stairs to the main entrance of the building. Freddie and I have passed through this door way too many times. He is always there. He was always there. I know I know that Kiki said that Cilenti got him but I can't help the battle inside me. There is a part of me that hopes that this man is Freddie, at least we'll know where he is and how he is. Still though there is another side of me that wishes and hopes and almost prays this man to be a stranger, to be someone I had never seen before. That way Freddie might still be missing but at least I will be able to think that he is going to find Camille, probably to talk about the divorce. Hopefully… probably…

I run through the open doors and I see the night shift guards standing around the man, I can see from afar that he is quite small man, he is without a doubt young and his hair are dark. Sure though Freddie isn't the only one with dark hair. Hector has dark hair as well. Of course the man on the grass had nothing to do with Hector and as I was running closer to the beaten up form which was lying motionless on the grass I could see and understand that this man looked more and more like Freddie… my Freddie.

A scream leaves my mouth when I reach close enough to inspect the damage, my knees are trampling and I feel unable to stand up any longer. They give way under me and I fell on my knees next to him.

"Moneypenny" he says. His voice rasped, coming out of his throat with difficulty. I feel helpless. What should I say to him? What could possibly make him feel better right now?

"Shh, don't worry James, everything will be fine." I said to him, I called him James and I let him call me Moneypenny. I didn't complained, I started to like it. He smiled a bit but it was short lived, his smile turned into a grimace and latter a whimper left his bloody lips. I felt the tears forming in my eyes, I prayed that someone, anyone will come soon. I… he needed help, medical help immediately. I needed him to get help right away.

"Did anyone called for an ambulance?" I asked the guards.

"I…I did ma'am, but they told me they might be a little late." The youngest one answered, I felt my heart sinking… it was going to take a while… they might be late? Why? Freddie might not have a little while. He might be… no! I can't think of that. No!

"Moneypenny" he said again. A few drops of blood left his mouth and run down his chin, it was like a tear of blood.

"Shh, Freddie how many time do I have to tell you to stop talking already?" I said. His piercing blue eyes, well more like eye, focused on my face. I felt the temperature rising on my cheeks. The color was probably red by now.

"I…I lo-"Freddie tried to talk again but a set of coughs stopped his words, he was about to say the three little words I was waiting for years to hear from his mouth. I cursed them for what they did. They took his power away. Words were his power. He was powerful with words. He could transform them into bullets.

"I love you too" I said smiling. I knew what he was going to say, it was too tough for him to do so. That's why I finished it for him. I finished his phrase and I answered at the same time. He seemed to be satisfied with the answer because he smiled, or at least he tried to smile again, but then something terrifying happened.

"I'm sorry Bel…" he said and his words were barely heard before his eyes closed.

"Freddie?" I panicked, his eyes were still closed. "Freddie!" I screamed even louder this time. My hands left his wound on his leg and reached for his arms. I grabbed them and I tried to shake him as lightly I could without causing him excruciating pain.

"No! No please! Please Freddie don't! Please don't leave me! Freddie!" I screamed and cried for what it seemed to be hours. It was just ten minutes after I left the office, my office just few feet away from the place where my whole life was right now shattering. My eyes were clouded from the tears. I couldn't stay strong anymore. I needed and I wanted to cry, so I did. One of my hands reached for the forgotten wound on his leg, but a larger hand than mine pushed it away and took my place trying to control the bleeding. At the same time, small fragile hands reached for my shoulders trying to get me away from Freddie but I fought them I wasn't going to leave him.

"Leave me alone!" I said. I didn't knew who were with me right now. I supposed that it was a man and a woman, probably someone from BBC heard my screams and came out to check what was going on, or maybe the sirens that were heard around the silent night alarmed the people inside the building to come outside and check.

"Marnie, darling let Bel stay there, some here to help me please. I need something to stop the circulation on his thigh or else he might bleed to death on us." the man said. His voice was familiar. And the woman was named Marnie. I knew that name, someone close to me had that name. I felt frustrated because my brain seemed not to be cooperating with me. It shut down.

"Hector I have nothing on me" the woman named Marnie said.

"It's ok darling we'll use my tie. I want you to keep pressure where my hands are right now as long as I am tying my tie around his thigh. Bel!" he said my name, Hector, the man named Hector said my name. My eyes were shut I couldn't open them, the tears were burning them and I was afraid that I was going to see Freddie lying dead there.

"BEL!" Hector, I realized who he is, Hector the presenter of The Hour. Hector my employee of sorts. My eyes snap wide open and I look at him. Marnie's hands are on Freddie's wound on his thigh her small palms are trying to cover the bleeder, her light pink dress was now smudged with grass, blood and mud from the wet ground. She wasn't complaining though. She wasn't even flitching. Hector had his dress shirt's first buttons undone. He took out his tie which was now in his hands blood already covering it. His white dress shirt was probably not reparable since it had large amounts of blood on it. That's when it hit me, it wasn't just blood, it was Freddie's blood. It was Freddie who was bleeding out in our hands… my hands.

"BEL! Get it together!" he said again, his voice was hard. Marnie even flinched at his tone, probably I would have flinched too under different circumstances. But not now, not tonight.

"Tell me what can I do?" I asked him, I was still pretty much in shock, I don't actually think that I'll get over it soon. Probably never. I saw Hector taking a deep breath. "I want you to check if he has a pulse and if he is breathing." He said calmly. I could see him in battle after that. He was calm and kept together at the sight of blood. He was ready to lead people. I slowly reached my index and middle finger to Freddie's neck and reached for the artery. I found a pulse, faint and irregular but he had a pulse.

"He has a pulse, it's faint and irregular but he has a pulse." I said, it was a great relieve to know that his heart was still beating. That clinically he was still alive.

"Check if he is breathing too. It seems to me from here that his chest is moving but check." He said. He was struggling to move Freddie's broken leg without causing him more pain. He wanted to tie his tie over the wound to stop the bleeder. I lowered my face to his bloody face and suddenly I felt an urge to kiss his lips. The blood was covering them too, giving them, surely, a metallic taste. I held my self together thinking of Hector and Marnie who were standing less than two feet away from me and I turned my cheek to his mouth. His soft warm breath tickled my cheek and the tears that I was trying so hard to keep, for so long rolled down my cheek. One tear, just one single droplet feel onto his face before I managed to wipe them off. That was the single sign of my weakness, nothing more, and nothing else. At least from now and on.

"The ambulance must be close. I can hear it quite laud" Marnie said. I know that she was talking mostly to me. Hector probably already knew that the ambulance was coming, he probably heard the siren already. It's me that's distracted, it's me that doesn't hear anything around me except Freddie's ragged breaths.

"I… I know, thank you" I said. I tried to act as if I heard the noise the siren was making, it was indeed quite laud. Not easy to miss it, even though I did.

Thankfully it didn't take long until the officers came and along with the paramedics helped to place Freddie on a stretcher. I tried to get on the ambulance with him, I didn't want him to wake up being alone, but they didn't let me, I fought, I fought really hard to get there with him.

"Hey, Bell, don't worry, I have the car ready we will follow them closely." Hector said. He was holding his car keys in his hands

"Darling if you want I can tell the guard to call a taxi for you" he said to Marnie.

"No… no I will come with you." She said "Bel needs as many people as she can get." She said. Her voice was a whisper but I managed to hear her. The night was silent probably that's why, the sirens of the ambulance weren't that shrieking anymore.

"Ok, dear. Let's go." I was surprised that Hector was so sweet with Marnie, usually he didn't use pet names for her. Usually Marnie was the one who was calling him darling or dear. It was a nice surprise though. Marnie seemed to really love Hector, even after everything he had put her through. I didn't fail to feel the guilt. I was one of the reasons he hurt her. I caused her pain as well. I knew that Hector was married. Now that I am thinking of it, Hector and I didn't just hurt Marnie, we hurt Freddie as well. Maybe he was hurt more, he was there to see the whole thing. He watched as we were possibly, probably tearing his feelings apart.

I followed Hector and Marnie to the car and by the time we got there Lix was out too. She looked shocked, startled, flushed.

"Was really Freddie the one the ambulance took?" she asked. She was indeed trying to catch her breath, she probably run down the stairs to reach as fast as possible here.

"Yes: We are going to follow the ambulance to the hospital. We can give you a lift." Hector said. He answered fast before I even managed to open my mouth, I was thankful, there were a lot of things he made me thankful for tonight.

"No, thank you Hector I will come a little later I need to inform Randall, Sissy and Isaac." She said. It seemed strange to me to call Brown Randall so casually, she never have done it in the past, but I wasn't in mood to investigate it any further. I knew that they sheared a history but that was all.

"As you please. We'll see you there then." Hector said and opened the door for me and Marnie. I realized that Marnie was going to seat in the back with me instead of next to Hector.

"You might need a hand to hold onto it." She said smiling to me. I smiled back, a smile that I could feel that didn't quite reached to my eyes, but right now, under the current circumstances it's the best I can do…

**A/N: I hope you liked it, probably this will be around six or seven chapters long and the POV will switch from Bel to Freddie and probably to Hector and Marnie. In the next chapter we will see the night from Freddie's POV.**

**Should I continue?**

**Preview.**

_I felt pain, as my body touched the cold slightly wed ground outside the Lime Groove studios I knew I was there. I walked onto this small field of grass way too many times. Some times to smoke, some times to clear my head from work, or the fights with Camille, or Hector, Bel__…_

_It was quite, especially at this time of the day, night. I hoped that the night guards will notice me, but I know, I know that I have to make some noise, draw their attention. Something__…__ anything__…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I felt pain, as my body touched the cold slightly wed ground outside the Lime Groove studios I knew I was there. I walked onto this small field of grass way too many times. Some times to smoke, some times to clear my head from work, or the fights with Camille, or Hector, Bel…

It was quite, especially at this time of the day, night. I hoped that the night guards will notice me, but I know, I know that I have to make some noise, draw their attention. Something… anything…

I have to let someone know I am here. I am here and I am alive. I'm not merely a corpse. At first I thought about screaming but my voice wasn't cooperating, my throat dry and unable to help me utter a word.

Then I thought I could move my hand, make a sign something that will indicate that I am alive but my arms were too heavy. I almost yelped in my try to move my right hand, it was probably broken, my wrist felt swollen, it defiantly hurt. The dry harsh sound I thought I managed to swallow it seemed that it left my lips, after a while someone was coming closer to me.

"Sir?" someone was calling for me? Probably, possibly. "Are you alright? Sir?" he asked again, his voice was stronger apparently he was coming towards me. "Henry call Miss Rowley. Tell her that… there is a chance that Mr. Lyon is found" he said, I felt frightened, Bel, no they shouldn't call Bel, she was better off without seeing me like that. "And Henry call an ambulance too" the other officer said. Henry was the ones name, he was the one who was going to give the horrific news to Bel. He was the one who was going to make her come and witness my humiliation. She thought of me as a hero, but I am not. I am not a hero, and I am not James Bond. I am just a journalist. A stupid arrogant boy who thought that could win the system. But the system is too strong and I am a nothing. I am not strong enough. I wished he could ask them not to call her but I know, I know better than that. She was always going to find me. She is always going to be there for me either I wanted it or not.

My eyes tried to focus on the open doors of the entrance I couldn't, it wasn't easy, especially in the beginning. After a few moments thought I see it. I see her… a blur of red fabric and blonde hair. It's her. I know it's her and she is running on her heels towards me. She is running towards me fast. I can feel her watching my broken form as if she is trying to determinate if she is dreaming or not. I wish I could assure her that this is all a bad dream that will end in the morning but I can't. She is close enough now, she can see my face, or at least what used to be my face. A horrific scream leaves her mouth, it's piercing my ears, punching my heart making me cry. I feel the tear roll down my cheek. It's painfully warm. She kneels next to me, her small delicate hand touching my left hand's fingers shyly.

"Moneypenny." I say. My voice was raspy and it barely sounded like my own. I feel like dying only by talking. She hasn't noticed that her little fingers are touching mine. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears.

"Shh, don't worry James, everything will be fine." She said. I probably was really bad. If she let me call her Moneypenny and she called me James. Usually she feels annoyed when I call her that. _"I am no one's secretary Freddie!" _that's how she usually answers to me. I smiled trying to show her that I appreciate the fact that she didn't try to correct me but it was sort lived. My smile soon turned to a whimper. I didn't meant to appear so weak in front of her. I wanted to keep being her hero. The pain though was too much and I couldn't hide it.

"Did anyone called for an ambulance?" I heard her voice she was talking to one of the guards. Probably, defiantly, I wasn't in position to answer to her. Even the utter of simple small words made me feel like dying. How could that be fixed? Was there any chance at all to be back to normal? Possibly Cilenti was right, I wasn't going to have a face for the television ever again.

"I…I did ma'am, but they told me they might be a little late." The man, Hector said. A little late, my heart sank at the sound of it. I might not have e had a little longer. These might be my last minutes. I am not afraid of death though. No I am not. My only fear is Bel. How she will deal with it. Because when you die this is it. The end of the line. You can't see someone else taking you place. Working from your desk, presenting your show with your co-presenter, sleeping on your bed with the love of your life. I won't be here seeing Hector getting a new co presenter or keep presenting the show by himself. I won't be here watching my replacement throwing away all the James Bond books because they are irrelevant with the job, I won't be here to watch Bel, my sweet Bel moving on with some other nameless guy, getting married with him, having his kids. Living peacefully till old age. I'll be dead… I'll see nothing. But my question is if she will make it long enough for the pain to sustain and find this other, new nameless and faceless guy to get married with and start a family.

"Moneypenny" I tried again but I couched and a few droplets of blood probably and saliva left my mouth and rolled down my chin

"Shh, Freddie how many time do I have to tell you to stop talking already?" she said. I tried to focus on her face and my still open right eye managed to focus on her. She was blushing, I loved her when she blushes. I love her every time. I have to tell her. Life is short. Mine is probably the shortest. I gather my courage this is going to be painful I know it will be.

"I…I lo-"I started trying to tell her these three little words I should have told her so long ago.

"I love you too" she said. I smiled, she knew what I was trying to tell her. She loves me, she Bel Rowley, producer of The Hour. One of the most successful news programs on air loves me. I smile. Even if I feel exhausted I smile I feel as if my little remaining strength is leaving me, I need to fall asleep. I can't keep my eyes open any longer the pain is overwhelming. The words I wanted to tell her were swallowed and the only think I could tell was a cowardly

"I am sorry Bel" before I closed my eyes and let death embrace me.

**A/N: Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed chapter 2. Let me know your thoughts and remember to join the #Save The Hour campaign.**

**Until next time **

**Bye!**

**_Preview._**

_The walls around me were suffocating me. It was the pure white color of the walls that was making me feel useless, I felt as if there was no other color left in the world. The city… this should be a happy occasion, the biggest story of The Hour, the unveiling of the biggest scandal in the modern history. But it wasn't, how could it be when Freddie, Freddie Lyon was lying on a hospital bed fighting for his life, not being sure if he will live to see the next morning. _

_I am sending a prayer, please Freddie if you hear me, if anyone hears me come back to me, please sent him back to me…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Hector was driving fast, I would be dizzy in any other occasion. Marnie though sits next to me, her hand tightly gripping mine. She seemed so happy few hours ago she was glowing now she seems drained of color.

"How far are we?" I asked, I wasn't sure where in the city I was, I could very well be in another city and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

"A few moments away. Don't worry" Hector "We'll be there in a short time." His voice was calming. I can see why the people like him so much, he is calming and he can make you calm. I was calmer right now. Much calmer than I was before, I wasn't completely calm, like I am usually. I am still frantic and still in shock. There was so much blood there.

"We are here. Get in and I will go to park the car." Hector said. I was lost, we reached the hospital but I didn't even realized it.

"Come dear, let's get inside" Marnie said. I took her extended hand and followed her inside the hospital. It was quite, at this hour no one was awake after all.

"Hello my name is Marnie Madden, we are here for a patient Mr. Freddie Lyon. Can you tell us where he is?" Marnie was talking to a nurse, she seemed to be young and sweet.

"I am sorry Mrs. But I can't release any information about his condition to anyone none related to him, hospital policy." She said, the girl seemed to be sorry, I was furious. Why? Why would this happen?

"My name is Miss Bel Rowley I am his producer and… and his fiancée" I know this was bold it was really bolt what I did. This though was my only chance. My right hand reached to cover my left fingers, trying hard to hide that there was no ring there.

"Oh. Well he is rushed to surgery they need to fix some bleeders that's all I know." She said. Her face was sorry, she felt sorry for me, but why. Then it hit me. I just told her that my fiancé is a guy who was rushed into surgery and even with my poor medical knowledge I could realize that he was in serious condition. So basically that made me the poor, unlucky bride which probably was going to be a widower before a wife.

"Come dear let's sit and wait." Marnie gave me her hand. I followed her to the waiting area, it was a depressing room with green plastic, uncomfortable chairs and a small coffee table. Nothing more. No pictures on the walls, no flowers. Marnie and I went and sat down in the farthest corner.

"Here take that" she said and gave me one of her rings. "It's the closest thing I have to an engagement ring." She said to me. It was a beautiful gold ring with a small sapphire and two diamonds. "I… I am sorry I can't accept that." I said. It seemed to be expensive and I wasn't going to accept that "And how exactly are you going to make people believe that you and Freddie are engaged? Are you going to hide your fingers every time they look at you? Take it you can give it back to me later." Marnie said. I took the ring from her palm and placed in on my ring finger. I was surprised but it fit perfectly. I was like it was made on my finger. It seemed really strange to me because I knew that Marnie's fingers were thinner than mine. I distinctly remember Hector telling me that her finger size is 4.5 while mine is 5.5. Why would she carry with her a ring a size bigger than the one she was wearing? It was confusing and completely strange but I wasn't really in mood to think about it.

"Are you family for Mr. Lyon?" a doctor came and looked at the two of them.

"Yes. She is Mr. Lyon's fiancée and I am a family friend." Marnie said.

"Well Mr. Lyon is still in surgery, his condition is critical but we are doing the best we can to fix everything." The doctor said to me, I don't know why but I felt no relieve. Nothing about what he said to me is relieving. All are scary and they are only making me more afraid. What if their best try isn't good enough? What if despise the tries Freddie dies?

"The parking space was full" Hector said. He had just came in the building. I just nodded I didn't really care about the parking lot. I see him taking the seat next to Marnie.

"Are you alright darling?" he asked her.

"I am fine Hector don't worry." She sounded light…

The hours passed slowly, the small room is a failed attempt to make you feel safe. I suppose. Hector thinks that is a way to feel clean and sanitized. His explanation was clearly more logic than mine. I am lost, it's been four hours since we came and only one doctor came out to tell us nothing important. Why was taking so long? I am worried and guilty at the same time. If only I learned that Cilenti was holding him earlier I could… I don't actually know what I could do. Freddie had turned almost half of the police force against him. I can even bet a month's pay that they wouldn't be too sad to see him gone.

"Why is taking so long?" I couldn't help it, I needed to speak. Freddie's chatty self, passed to me now. I had to say it. To express my fear, my worry. I wanted… I needed an answer.

"It's a delicate procedure dear, calm sown the doctor leading the case is a family friend he'll inform us right away just wait foor a while longer." Marnie said. she came and sat down next to me. I looked around for hector but he wasn't there. Where was he? He was here a few moments ago/

"Hector went to ask about Freddie and arrange to be transferred into a private room" Marnie said to me ear. She knew what to tell, when to tell them. Since when she was so well prepared?

"Oh, Ok" there two small words sounded so lame, they made me feel useless, unimportant, Impossible.

"It's not impossible when it's possible. You are possible, you are possible with Me." that's what he said to me… his exact words.

"Marnie, can you keep a secret?" I asked her, I hadn't put too much thought into it before I asked her and for a strange reason made me feel better.

"Of course dear, I can keep any secret you want me to" Marnie's tone made me feel guilty. Hector was right she was such an amazing person and I acted terrible and so, so much selfish towards her. I know that it's not only my fault but I played my part making their marriage not the perfect one that they let people believe it was. And still despise all that woman was sitting next to me holding my hand giving me strength the hope ready to listen and help.

"No one can know yet. Not even Hector. Am I asking too much?" I wanted to tell someone what I was thinking, but at the same time I wasn't ready for the world to know yet.

"It's a girl's talk, Hector isn't interested in those." Marnie said smiling with that small witty smile of ehrs and I knew, I knew that she wasn't going to tell anything.

"I… I am in love with Freddie and now… now he might die not knowing how much I love him. We… we kissed right before he left to find Kiki and he tried to tell me I love you when I found him but he couldn't I simply told him I love you too, how is possible to understand how much he means to me? How important he is to me? I've never told him. And now… now he might die and he'll never know." I said. I was crying I couldn't keep the tears any longer. I kept it together long enough. I really tried but seems that I am week, I am not strong enough to succeed.

"Oh but he knows." Marnie said "He knows dear, words are really important too. Many don't understand but words are weapons too. Words can hurt you, can cut you, break you but also save you. And please let me ask you a question why would he try to stay awake as long as he did? Why is he still alive?" she asked me and her questions made me wonder what she meant it couldn't possible mean what I think they did.

"Why?" I asked her right now it seemed as if Marnie knew more than me, even though it's my life we are talking about.

"Because of you darling, because of you. He stayed awake to see you, he keeps fighting for you. It's you who keeps him alive. If he didn't knew how much you love him then what he has to fight for? "I was stunned, Marnie had just expressed all these things I was thinking but I was unable to express because I thought I had no reason to justify them.

I wanted to feel relieved but I refuse myself to feel relieved, I am only going to feel relieved when I will be able to look into Freddie's blue eyes again. I was unable to stop a small smile from appearing on my lips though. This was the closest thing to thank you I managed to offer to Marnie.

A small shy smile from a teary face with red puffy eyes…

xxxxxxxxx

The walls around me were suffocating me. It was the pure white color of the walls that was making me feel useless, I felt as if there was no other color left in the world. The city… this should be a happy occasion, the biggest story of The Hour, the unveiling of the biggest scandal in the modern history. But it wasn't, how could it be when Freddie, Freddie Lyon was lying on a hospital bed fighting for his life, not being sure if he will live to see the next morning.

I am sending a prayer, please Freddie if you hear me, if anyone hears me come back to me, please sent him back to me, it feels as if I was in this position before. Praying for Freddie to come back to me. I did it before. Not so long ago. I was praying that he'll come back to me, I needed his courage to make me brave. Now I can see that this courage comes with a prize, in his case a very high one. I am wondering if he is here because of me. What if I never prayed for him to return? What then? Would he have stayed in Paris with Camille, forgot all about me, Hector, Lix, The Hour, England in general or would he had came back? Probably he wouldn't have stayed away for far too long. He would have come back. A story would have brought him back.

I try not to feel guilty but I can't, I feel as if it's my fault that he is now fighting for his life… why would that happen to him of all people?

Why him and why now?

**A/N: Here is the third chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I am afraid I am not going to update for the next three weeks because of my studies. So this is it until around June 1st **

**Leave a review with your thoughts ;) **


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